Living with my ex is killing me!

I broke up with my boyfriend of three years a week ago. Only problem is, we still share a two-bedroom flat. I’m desperately trying to get a new rental or a room, and so is he, but we may have to wait another few weeks. Meanwhile, we’re in separate beds, it's super awkward and I am so miserable. Should I just move out and pay for somewhere temporary? Jenny

Breaking up, but not moving out, is one of those unfortunate situations, especially in today’s hellish rental market. Now that you and your boy are kaput the niceties of co-habiting are no more. Forget stumbling to the loo in your knickers, sharing a risotto for two or spooning in the marital bed. You’re probably both afraid to make eye contact, crying hysterically and working back late to avoid sitting on the longue watching TV in stony silence.

Or, maybe you’re both coping by drinking with mates night after night – which is just cruel. Neither of you now have the right to enquire: ‘..and where have you been all night?’ and your mind will inevitably conjure up the worst case scenario – a sexy size eight blonde offering up her breasts for tequila body shooters perhaps.
My advice? Pack up and move out asap. Like today. The mental anguish of polite, love-less living with your former partner is a form of torture no person should have to endure. Yes, the GFC hit hard, but this is no time for saving pennies. Get a bag, fill it with essentials and walk out that door.
If you've got nowhere to go, doss on a friends couch (which can’t be more uncomfortable than your current living arrangements), stay in a cheap motel or get a serviced apartment for a week or two. Ask a family member for a loan if you’re low on funds. You won’t regret it later, I promise. And if your work schedule is making it hard to find a new place, explain your predicament to your boss and ask for a couple of days' compassionate leave to pound the pavement and talk to agents - you'll be surprised how much support you’ll get for being upfront. You may have lost your lover, but there’s a funky one-bedroom flat with your name on it out there. Go find it!
Love, reality chick

They cheated, should I rock the boat?

My boyfriend and I socialise a lot with my best friend and her husband, and recently we went away with them on their boat for the weekend. At one point when they were alone, my boyfriend and best friend hooked up – I only know this because my boyfriend came clean about it once we got home (although he’s fairly vague about the details) and says he confessed because he was sorry. He feels it was a ‘blip’ in our otherwise great social life and that I should put it behind us so we can continue to see them. She hasn’t said a word to me about it. Not sure I’m up to double dating anymore, but is it worth risking my relationship and best friend over? Amber

Hell yeah. After all, their little love boat lust-fest has just blown your relationship clean out of the water, don’t you think? OK, your boyfriend confessed, but it sounds suspiciously conditional – a confession that he used, ultimately, to manipulate you into brushing the whole mess under the carpet so his happy social life could continue with nary a hiccup. That’s not much to ask, or anything. As for your friend – and I use the term loosely – it’s time to pick up the phone to announce that you’re privy to her rat-fink behaviour. Let her know you’ll be filling her husband in on the finer details of your weekend away; after all, it’s only fair. Whether you decide to work on things with your boyfriend is your choice, but if you do I’d definitely throw a few conditions in his court – like couples counselling, and the fact that you’ll be finding a whole new social set to hang out with. Let me know how it all pans out, and good luck.
Love, reality chick

I've got a toy boy, now I want a baby

I'm 36 and have been dating a mature 28-yo guy for two years. I'd love to have a baby, but I know he's not keen (yet). Am I mad to wait until he's ready? I coo over every baby I see and have visions of flushing the odd birth control pill down the loo, just to hurry things along. Andy, Coogee, NSW

Yup, waiting for a guy to get that paternal feeling can be downright torturous - after all, timing's everything in relationships. But tempting as it is to can your contraception, I'd sound him out instead. Does he see a future for you guys? Preferably a future in which he'd happily strap on a Baby Bjorn if necessary? And if so, when? Daunting questions, I know, but you're 36 and after two years, you've got a right to some honest answers. If his best is an indefinite time frame, cut your losses and run. After all, parenthood is sure to be sweeter with a guy who hasn't been duped into becoming a dad.
Love, reality chick

Check us out in NW magazine!

Yoo-hoo, guys and gals... did you miss me? Hope 2010 is being good to you so far - and big hugs if it's not. On that note, step away from the family-sized tub of ice-cream and drop me a line with all your relationship dramas - big or small - because I'm just sitting here twiddling my thumbs and itching to give you my super-special reality check. Oh, and good news for my Australian readers - from this Monday, I'll be attending to the lovelorn in NW Magazine, too - which means any questions you send in may be answered on the blog, or pop up on NW's Love Struck pages. You lucky ducks.

Must fly!
Love, reality chick