Greetings, earthlings!

What the hell is this? Who the hell am I? And how do I maintain buff biceps when I’m saving the world, one heartbreak victim at a time?
Well, the answer is, with hand-weights – but I digress.
It’s blog etiquette to introduce yourself, and after all, the reason I’m here is to help you. So help me help you. (Yes, I love movie lines – so free chocolate for the first person to post title and character on that little number).
I digress again. RELATIONSHIPS! SEX! (Yes please!) and of course, that six letter word we all love to hate: DATING.
I’m here to make sense of all of the above – and of all the confusing bits in between. Like the three-day-phone-call rule – are we really counting anymore? Is it the end of the line if you end a Wednesday night smoking cones in a share house in Randwick with a 19-year-old Canadian exchange student? Does every girl out there really have a Brazilian? Do you?! Doesn’t it hurt? Will he really think you’re cheap if you shag him in his office cubicle after a first date and one too many vodkas? (OK, it wasn’t really a date, more like a sad speed dating party AND I hadn’t had any dinner.) Are you flying your freak flag if you use internet dating sites or is it acceptable and even de rigueur to have a profile or three? These pressing questions and more will be answered, right here, right now. Well, every Tuesday and Friday. And whenever else I feel someone is in need of rescuing.
Look, I don’t pretend to be perfect. Like Superman’s Kryptonite, I have weaknesses. Namely, for unsuitable lifeguards with abs you could open a Smirnoff Black* with. And other inappropriate characters you shall meet – but all in good time.
What you really need to know, folks, is I’m out there with you, on the singles beat. Dating up a storm. Flirting up a frenzy. Washing the sweet smell of cigarettes and beer out of my cape. Chances are, I’ve been there, done that – and will have a pearl of wisdom or two to impart. And if I don’t, I’ll make something up. What can I say, with great powers comes great responsibility.
Up, up and away…
reality chick x

PS. Flick hint: He used to be cute and swoonworthy, but is now plain weird and likes jumping on the couches of daytime talk show divas.

* Seven percent alcohol, ladies. Never again.