Feeling the burn

I’ve reached a possibly worthwhile conclusion in this week’s quest for the body beautiful: the *gym is my new target-rich environment. Think about it: you’re sober, you can check out blokes under bright lights and any eye-candy serves as a welcome distraction from the pain and suffering incurred by cardio, weights or both.
But as with any slightly lame, sorta-social activity, there are challenges. It starts out well. You crack a joke or two, the chit-chat zooms like a runaway train in the direction of gee-we-should-meet-up-sometime-when-we’re-not-all-sweaty territory … but at the fatal, do-or-die moment, you choke.
Take last week. I was on the cable pulley, he was on the barbells. Smouldering looks were exchanged. He decided he absolutely had to use the machine next to me and before I knew it, we were chatting about a) what saddos we were being at the gym on a Sunday, b) how much nicer it would be at the beach and c) how he planned to go to the beach later, dammit.
That’s when I dropped the ball. I know closing the deal is all about putting yourself out there, but saying, ‘Oh really, what beach?’ or ‘Wow, I would give my right buttock to go to the beach this arvo’, felt somewhat desperate considering alcohol wasn’t involved, meatheads were eavesdropping and we’d shared less than 50 words by the bench press.
So, muttering a feeble wrap-up line, I took my leave, still hoping for a movie moment which would go a little something like this: I’d be leaving, hair swinging; Cute Gym Guy would run up to me, glistening with sweat and panting, ‘I barely know you, but I simply can’t let you go without getting your phone number!’
He didn’t, so it’s back to same time, same bench press. And next time, hopefully I won’t be such a chicken...

* Sydney's the second most gay-friendly city after San Francisco apparently (not a bad thing unless you’re a heterosexual woman), so it’s a good day when you discover the three S’s at your gym: Single, Sexy and Straight. Mine has all three, bad sadly, not in great quantities.