Thursday, 25 January 2007

Here’s to you, Mrs Robinson…

Confession. I had an affair with someone much younger that me not so long ago. He was twelve years my junior and just barely out of his teens. Whilst my friends kept high five-ing me and pressing me for all the gory details so they could vicariously live out this Mrs Robinson fantasy, it was not all it was cracked up to be. Sure, there was the ten minute turnaround, the puppy dog eagerness and a body that looked like it was carved out of marble. Not a wrinkle, sag or chest hair to be found. But after a few fun weeks of seeing this young thing, I was starting to feel somewhat guilty. Especially after he referred to me as his ‘girlfriend.’ Yikes. Sugar Mumma/hot babysitter was more like it. It started to feel just plain WRONG. It was going nowhere, there were feelings at stake, and I was getting looks when we held hands in public. When he asked who Debbie Harry was and admitted to never having seen Reality Bites, I just knew we were from different planets. So, here’s a handy checklist for those of you who might suspect you’re dating a guy/girl who’s too young for you…

1. Lives with the folks or in a nasty scungy share house
2. Sleeps in a single bed
3. Has to do homework/uni assignments (unless they are post-grad)
4. Rides a bike for transport purposes and doesn’t own a car/licence
5. Has never heard of Degrassi Junior High/E Street/Punky Brewster/Vanilla Ice/Max Headroom/Simon Townsend’s Wonderworld/Countdown/ Roxette/Melrose Place
6. Lost their virginity with you, or in the past year
7. Has never owned a walkman or discman
8. Drinks cask wine and can’t afford to eat at restaurants that don’t have golden arches
9. Still gets an allowance from his parents
10. Thinks a rocking Saturday night involves a beer bong, a pizza and his seven housemates.

Tell me. Can Generation X and Y have meaningful affairs? Have you ever dated a younger person?

posted by reality chick @ 5:10 PM  

7 Comments:

  • At January 25, 2007 10:52 PM, Anonymous The Sea said…

    Have faith, older women! Mum is 9 years older than Dad - she was 30, he was 21 - and after 30 years, they're still going strong.

     

  • At January 28, 2007 12:26 PM, Anonymous Funny Girl said…

    Winter Spring hook-ups in my experience inevitably can be a hell out of a lot of fun, and some times just hell.

    When my 11-year-marriage crashed and burned the first man to turn my head and re-light my early 30 loins was a sweet little 21 year-old German backpacker.

    The envious whispers from women and eyebrow raising from gen X men resting their beers on their bellies was just as much fun as the well meant ‘babysitting’ ribbing from my mates.

    If you can get over being stared at in public, having to pay to eat anywhere that has a linen tablecloth, own wine older than your beau, then the knee trembling, outdoor frolics and sans baggage male can be a wonderful thing.

    Ben was truly an angel who with all his homespun naivety led me by the hand back into the bedroom and into a warm safe place where he taught me how to have fun and believe in love again... just not with him.

    Although the nail didn’t strike the love puppet toy boy coffin until I dropped off a very sweet young thing, I had met as he celebrated his 18th birthday. Not only did he live ‘at home’ we had nothing to talk about apart from an abridged version of the Karma Sutra.

    And ladies be warned, daylight can be very unkind after a night on the tiles and up against the wall with someone whose body hasn’t started the Southern retreat.

    So I gave up teenagers and fell in love with a man in his late Twenties – and fared no better. Because even though we were engaged and disagreeing about baby names we were still at very different life stages. I’d done the Grand Tour, had a fabulous career, bought the house etc. whereas dear Mr BS didn’t have a brass razoo and still hadn’t found himself.

    So I say bring on the 40 somethings – perhaps men are like wine they mature and improve with age…

     

  • At January 29, 2007 9:26 AM, Blogger reality chick said…

    Thanks for sharing Funny Girl. makes me feel better about my 20-year-old tryst...young guys can be a lot of fun and get you back in the game. But maybe the more mature fellow is the way forward...let us know how you go with the more mature drop!
    And the sea...my Grandparents were a good 8 years apart in age and they shared a lifetime together...it can work!

     

  • At January 31, 2007 11:53 AM, Anonymous pollypringle said…

    Hmmm, yes, younger men... the pleasure doesn't always outweigh the weirdness. Remember the guy I told you about recently, the young'un I pashed on the porch?
    It was fun, but i couldn't quite shake the feeling that I was snogging a little boy. He still had bumfluff as opposed to stubble. And he asked if i wanted to shag in his car!! Uh, no thanks.

     

  • At January 31, 2007 4:44 PM, Blogger reality chick said…

    Oh no Polly...the backseat of the car shag. Add that to your list of 'you're pashing a person that's too young for you.' I can also appreciate the scary bum fluff scenario. I'm much more of a thick chest hair, five o'clock shadow gal these days!

     

  • At January 31, 2007 5:21 PM, Anonymous Bubble Girl said…

    can I add a number 11???

    11) when he has to ring his mum to pick him from your place after you got together for a one-night stand!

    I wonder why that one never turned into a relationship???

     

  • At January 31, 2007 5:33 PM, Blogger reality chick said…

    Oh that is too funny bubble girl! Thanks for adding to the list...we all have our Mrs Robinson moments it seems...

     

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