He's got a headache. Again!
There’s a rumour that’s been around since the dawn of time that men like sex more than women. They’re mad for it apparently. Can hardly stop themselves jumping our bones and want to do it Lionel Richie style ... all night long. Now I know that some men really are into sex – God Bless them [and do you have their phone numbers?] But there are others that – once the passion of the first few months fizzles out – are happy to snuggle down in bed with a good book and can go days, weeks, even months without a hint of nookie.
Many of my girlfriends complain that their blokes just can’t keep up with their demands in the boudoir. And they’re not asking for that much action – believe me. More of a regular oil and grease change, than a three-times-a-day romp fest. Could it actually be true that women have a bigger sex drive than men? That we reality chicks are the ones throwing a leg over most of the time?
I’ve been in relationships where I’m the one begging for a good seeing to and the guy could take it or leave it. There’s nothing more crushing to the ego than reclining in a pair of crotchless knickers, with edible chocolate massage oil and a pair of handcuffs, and being told he’d rather watch the footy. Or he’s too tired. Or too full. Or just plain too lazy.
Perhaps it was just a case of mismatched libidos, but I’d love to throw this one to the group. Are women more interested in sex than men – especially in their late 20s and 30s? Is the myth of women not wanting sex as much as men just a load of codswallop? Now’s your chance to set the record straight people!




15 Comments:
At March 08, 2007 2:23 PM,
Anonymous said…
oh helllllllllllo reality chick welcome to my world.
went out with a dude who didn't want a bar of it, or me, or antyhign relating to it. Sex that is. I think i really went around the bend with the once a fortnight duty shag.
i honestly think theres something to this. all my girlfriends complain about it too.
At March 08, 2007 8:24 PM,
The Sea said…
Happened to me once. Humiliating experience. Of course, he came out of the closet not long afterwards so it all makes sense really.
At March 08, 2007 9:30 PM,
reality chick said…
The trouble with a sexless or almost sexless relationship is how tricky it is to cut and run. You go back and forth, wondering if you're doing the right thing, wondering if you're unbelievably shallow for ditching a guy just becuase he doesn't want to get jiggy with it as often as you do, and trying to justify how good the rest of the relationship is to yourself, all the while ignoring alarm bells screaming, 'THIS IS YOUR SEX LIFE SPEAKING. DO YOU REALLY WANT IT ONCE A FORTNIGHT IN THE MISSIONARY POSITION FOR THE REST OF YOUR NATURAL BORN LIFE? ARE YOU SURE YOU WOULDN'T PREFER A FEW HANDCUFFS? SOME SILK SCARVES PERHAPS? A SESSION IN THE BACKSEAT OF YOUR LASER? A GUY WHO ACTUALLY WANTS TO HIT THE BUTTON EVERY NOW AND THEN?'
If you can't drown it out with martinis, you're stuck. I speak from experience.
At March 09, 2007 8:56 AM,
Anonymous said…
A dangerous solution that can backfire but I've seen work- you start to withhold sex and he will be gagging for it. It's the old playing hard to get scenario but men always want what they can't have. Also if he doesn't was it at least once a day in the beginning he's just not that into blah blah blah
At March 09, 2007 1:08 PM,
reality chick said…
Oh i'm not denying there are lots of tactics... but i do think you can tie yourself up in knots (if you're not allowed to tie him up becuase he's too busy playing computer games) playing games to get him to want it. Which can get pretty tiring and pretty boring if you have to manipulate the situation for years on end in this way (I know a lot of women who do or have done this to keep the status quo).
Thing is, if you listen to Dr Rosie - and she actually wrote a book on it called Good Loving, Great Sex - mismatched libidos are so common everyone's having hissy fits over not getting enough, or being with a partner who wants too much. Ho hum.
At March 09, 2007 1:14 PM,
Anonymous said…
I also think you may be onto something here. Girls i know in long term relationships are always complaining men can't be stuffed with sex.
That's after throwing lingerie, porn, dirty weekends, new positions and sex toys at the problem.
Maybe because women don't need men to support them like they did in the old days, men are confused about their 'role' so to speak. Also women are more aggressive about wanting sex whereas years ago men had to really chase women, woo them etc AND marry them before they got a damn good seeing to. Maybe it's the last bit of power men feel they've got and they're holding onto it. Or withholding it, as the case may be. ha!
At March 09, 2007 3:10 PM,
Anonymous said…
After two years in my last relationship, weeks would go by without any action. The lack of sex made me feel less attractive, desirable and wanted. I wonder how it made him feel? In an ideal world, our libidos would marry up perfectly, but then, who the hell lives in an ideal world?
At March 09, 2007 3:15 PM,
reality chick said…
I know, that's the thing. Don't you think, well 80 percent of the relationship is good, so maybe I can live without a rockin' sex life? Or, sex is important to me, so I've got to leave and find a guy who enjoys it as much as I do? There's always a trade-off.
At March 12, 2007 11:05 AM,
Emily said…
Yes, yes, YES.
It makes me feel dirty to be the one who wants to watch girly porn when he could care less.
At March 12, 2007 1:26 PM,
Peter Pan said…
As I guy I can explain this.
There was a study done a few years back that shows that if a guy 'never asks for sex' in the relationship he actually gets more of it than those guys who beg and plead.
So really it is just reverse psychology.
At March 12, 2007 1:31 PM,
reality chick said…
hey Peter... yeah you've got a point, but I would bet girls reading this have tried every tactic in the book - including reverse psychology, which may work once or twice but if he's really not into it, he'll just be glad you're not bugging him for it (thereby leaving him more time to play computer games/watch dvds/chase other women/read/whatever other hanky panky substitutions he's got going on. That's my theory!
At March 13, 2007 10:31 AM,
Anonymous said…
Hey Peter,
That may be true, but seems to be it's a bit of a short term solution. I mean any chick who is forced to ask for it over & over is going to get sick of it eventually & leave. So while you may be getting more than the guy who asks for it, it's not really going to last that long. So i guess if you are happy getting it more regularly, then moving on to the next girl then it'll work, but if you are looking for something more long term i think it would be best for all concerned if you made your chick feel sexy with lots of compliments etc & no doubt she will be up for it all the time & who knows the relationship might last a little longer!
We all need to feel wanted!
At March 13, 2007 10:33 AM,
Anonymous said…
Oh yeah & one more thing. I don't really think that girls want a guy to "beg & plead" for it. All you need to do is get us in the mood & we'll be fine. Who wants to shag a guy that is begging & pleading for it? i think we'd be more likely to feel sorry for you!!
At March 13, 2007 10:53 PM,
Anonymous said…
I think this is a real big issue. sex life and self worth can be destroyed very quickly. wondering every night you get into bed. Does he want me tonight, will I have to put out or do I actual want it tonight and he dosent.Or maybe just pretend your asleep before he even has the chance to clean his teeth and jump into bed . save face and save having more sex conflicts. Does anyone really have the longterm thing happening where they are still gagging for it???
At March 13, 2007 11:03 PM,
pollypringle said…
Hmmm, I don't know about you anon, but in my last relationship I would've liked it way more than I got it - and we were together for nearly 5 years.
I think with me it's a libido thing; I'd like to hope I would still be up for it regularly even after 20 years with the same person.
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