Warning, red flag ahead

"I never saw it coming" is arguably the biggest break-up lie in the book. And whether you were married for 20 years or boinking like bunnies for two weeks, slipping on a pair of rose-coloured relationship glasses is all about survival when you're in a world of pain. But when the heartache is over, as Cher likes to say, it’s easy to see there were signs all along.
In fact, in the interests of helping my readers head off inappropriate lovers at the pass, here's my personal flag system, colour-coded for ease of use. Yellow flags translate as Cause For Concern; Orange mean Warning, Warning! and Red: Abandon Mission and Get The Hell Out, Now.
I like it when a red flag pops up early, because at least you know what you’re dealing with and have only yourself to blame if you push on and hope for the best. We’re talking flags like, I’m still in love with my ex girlfriend / I have children with three different women / I can only get off in a threesome situation.
Yellow flags are trickier. No compliments from a guy, even if he seems to like you, could be a potential flag. A first date who insists on going dutch when the coffee bill is under $6 may also be a cause for concern, especially if he asked you out.
It’s the orange flags that should really send your antenna nuts. Like the fact that you’re always doing the calling – or six months in, you realise you haven’t met any of his friends or family. Your sex life spluttering and dying a month in should also trigger alarm bells. “A month? A month?! Are you freaking kidding me? The only thing he should be tired of is thinking of different ways to ravage you,” insists He’s Just Not That Into You guru Greg Behrendt.
I know flags suck. But they’re all we have in sizing up future partners. What are some of the biggies you’ve ignored … at your own peril?