Blame it on my hormones, your honour

I was lunching the other day with a friend who I’ll call Dave, because that’s his name. I love Dave, partly because he has no qualms about giving up juicy male dating secrets. Secrets I can then pass onto the sisterhood.
Anyway, we got to talking and Dave revealed how clued-up dudes ‘clean the pipes’ before heading out on a date – and he wasn’t talking about eradicating ear wax. No, Dave was referring to how guys should indulge in a little pre-date solo sex – a la There’s Something About Mary – in order to, in his words, ‘think more like a girl’.
"Orgasm," explained Dave, "gets those lovey-dovey hormones busting in a guy’s brain, so he’s more able to relate to a girl on her level instead of just thinking up ways to get into her pants."
Dave officially had my attention, because I’ve been thinking quite a bit about hormones and how they affect our brain during a date. Take kissing, for instance. The oxytocin cocktail that kicks in during a pash doesn’t just send you weak at the knees – it makes you waaaaaay more inclined to make decisions exclusive to the Hormone Highway. Like ripping your clothes off and indulging in the four-legged frolic, simply because you’re unable to kiss and pant a half-arsed protest along the lines of: "OhmigodIthinkIshouldputmybraonandgohomerightnow".
Chances are whomever you’re kissing won’t actually hear, understand or comply with your request anyway (if a guy’s managed to get your bra off, he’s not going to go to the hassle of trying to put it back on, right?) so that’s that.
But if men can choke the chicken, what can women do if they find themselves unwittingly steered down the Hormone Highway to Boff Your Brains Out Town – when their destination was actually Get To Know Him Betterville? Will giving in to the hand police prior to a date guarantee a detour for reality chicks, too? Is it about learning when to gracefully take your leave - like, uh, before your brain turns to mush? Or is it about giving up kissing altogether? I’m thinking it might be time for a lengthy, scientific Reality Chick Experiment on the subject. Oh, the things I do for you people.