How can I stop attracting weirdos?

I need you to fix my faulty man magnet. Lately, I’ve had stalkers, married men, drug pigs and various other reprobates on my tail. I suspect it has something to do with my very blonde hair, which I recently toned down, but who knows? Any advice would be much appreciated. Hannah

I’ve heard about the dangers of peroxide, Hannah, but this is just ridiculous. Your faulty man magnet may have nothing to do with your hair and everything to do with your innate hotness. Or failing that, your social circle. Methinks it’s time to take stock. Join a book club. A church. Or an ashram. No, actually, scratch that… we don’t want to add zealous cult leader to the list. Perhaps you need to reboot by taking yourself off the market altogether for a while, so you can re-join the dating pool at a later stage with a clean slate (and hopefully less of a come-hither-bad-boyness about you). Or, you could just try being a brunette.

Love, reality chick