I wanna hold your haaaand...

I had a late-night phone call from a friend last week. She had just been out on a date with a guy she likelikes. They’d been to a movie, eaten dinner together and enjoyed a big pash in a bar. But she wasn’t convinced the night was a success. "He wouldn’t hold my HAND," she said, sounding baffled. "If a guy will kiss you in a bar, why won’t he hold your hand in the street?"
I wanted to help, but to be honest, I’m stumped on this one too. So I vox-popped some dudes for a male perspective. Could it be a cultural thing? Some said yes. "A lot of Brits I know aren’t into it, whereas many Europeans and North Americans seem to be more comfortable," says Michael.
Dave agrees. "Sometimes it is cultural – and some guys just aren’t comfortable with public affection. The tendency for women to over-analyse stuff like this is huge." Yeah, yeah, we know.
But Phil thinks it's strange not to hold a girl’s hand if he likes her. "Some guys are maybe scared of looking sissy – they need to get a life I guess," he suggests. Ain’t that the truth, Dr Phil.
Knowing where the relationship is headed helps, adds Chris. "It would be weird to hold a girl’s hand unless you have some clarity on the relationship first... ie, waaaaay past ‘first base’. But I imagine that’s a given."
For Michael, it’s dependant on how he feels about the girl – "The times I don’t hold a girl’s hand is when I’m either a) not into her enough or b) feel that it’s too early to be that affectionate" – and Kirk agrees.
"If a guy is into PDAs but won’t hold her hand, then yeah, he’s not that into her," he admits, "BUT there is always the possibility that the guy is into PDA and into the girl but still won’t hold hands and one reason may be that he’s in another relationship and doesn’t want to risk being spotted."
Well, that’s heart-warming – not. But what about if you’re in a relationship and you’re confused about your guy’s hand-holding habits or lack thereof? Maybe he’s just moody, Tobie suggests. "If I’m feeling tetchy I cannot stand to be touched let alone have a clammy hand attached to me."
Dad of three Ryan agrees. "I hate holding hands, particularly in public," he says. "It’s not that I don’t love my wife, it’s just that I need and like my space. Holding hands makes me feel claustrophobic."
Chris, also married, isn’t so sure. "I always hold my wife’s hand – always have. I would say that guys who aren’t holding a girl’s hand are either angry at them for something, or have a major ‘letting go’ problem. Guys who don’t hold hands are the same guys who can’t openly express their feelings ... that’s my humble opinion."
But it’s Tim who turns the tables on us, saying often it’s girls who aren’t keen. "I think guys (and maybe some girls) are conscious of turning other people’s stomachs," he muses. "But it’s a beautiful expression of love and it’s terrific when you see a couple who’ve been together 40 years still holding hands." Ahhhhhh.

~ What’s your take on putting your loved one’s paw in your own? Love it, hate it, don’t care either way? Tell Aunty Reality Chick.