Rules for the week

Hi readers. Sorry for my lack of communication yesterday - I could just imagine you all feverishly clicking, wondering if I had died in some freak superhero rescuing mission. I'm glad to say no, I am still alive, it's just that waaaaaay too many rescues were required yesterday. I gladly bopped a few cheaters, I served ice-cream to heartbreak victims, I tended to several cases of extreme pre-date paranoia. In short, I was too pooped to write any pearls of wisdom.
But due to the reader cases I've deal with this week (you know who you are), I have decided to pen a few rules we should all try to observe. Listen and learn people.

Rule 1. Anyone who implies that you actually look your age or even older should be immediately evicted from your life, even if he begs and pleads that he didn't mean it. (If there's no begging and pleading you could be dealing with a garden variety sociopath, back away slowly.)

Rule 2. If someone you've been dating suggests that he can 'maybe' see you on Saturday night, tell him you don't do maybe and that he should stick his maybe where the sun don't shine.

Rule 3. Give a wide berth to anyone who is on RSVP pretending they live here when they actually live in Leeds, UK. The man in question apparently jokes on email that his geographically challenged profile is 'wishful thinking' and that he's 'actually keen to get married asap'. Hello did someone say Immigration Visa?

Rule 4. Irishmen may be devastatingly cute and have lovely accents, but I'm becoming increasingly convinced that overall, they make really crap boyfriends.

Rule 5. Steer clear of men who make out they want a relationship, seduce you after several weeks, then announce that they can't be bothered driving you home and boot you out on the street with the offer to 'pay half' for a cab. He's a Bellevue Hill boy apparently. Nice.

Right, that's it from me. If you have a personal rule of your own, wish to comment on mine or even fancy picking a fight about my not-entirely-unfounded wariness of Irish males, bring it on.