The Where-Are-We-Going Chat

Early days in a new relationship are tricky. You’re both on your best behaviour, pretending you don’t fart or pick your nose, you gaze at each other like you’re locked in some silly tractor beam and it’s nothing to spend an entire episode of House pashing on the couch.
Bliss, right? Not always. Chances are you’re also spending a fair amount of down time freaking out about where your fragile little love-fest is leading. In my last relationship, we never had The Chat, but I knew it was on the night we were in the kitchen cooking dinner together and both of us were fielding mobile calls – from people we’d been dating prior to meeting one another. There was a lot of muffled, "Uh, I’ve actually started seeing someone seriously so, uh, yeah..." which sounds awkward while you’re stirring risotto next to your new squeeze, but was actually kinda nice in a relationship-solidifying kinda way.
Almost-hitched Nina admits she knew early on – and remembers fondly the hints that were dropped on both sides. "It just evolved," she says.
Natasha's relationship beginnings were more like a runaway train. "We started seeing each other once a week then twice a week then from Thursday to Sunday then had all the silliness of carting clothes and stuff between our places, so after four months I simply moved in," she says.
For Kate, six months is the cut-off point for having The Chat - "but hopefully he'll instigate it" - and Kirsty agrees, saying if a partner can't hack the relationship barometer after dating that long it could be a case of commitment-phobia. "At six months you should know what each other’s intentions are," she warns. "Anything else is just jerking you around – it becomes especially important as you get older or you waste all those child bearing years on some tosser!"
But for newlywed Lisa, figuring out where she stood was a cinch. "Straight off, there was no messing around. He rang or texted when he said he would. Dating other people wasn’t an issue. It’s that old thing – we just knew. Maybe if you have to ask then you shouldn’t be asking," she says. "In fact, even when I was single I don’t think I ever asked because I knew what the answer would be – nowhere fast."
Hmmmmmm... I'll remember that next time I meet someone I might possibly want to maybe think about sort of dating exclusively. What's your M.O. on the where-are-we conundrum? I'd love to hear it.