First loves: they’re on the brain

It’s true, you know. Apparently, the first time you fall truly, madly, deeply in love with someone, the hormone cocktail goes a little nuts and kind of ‘engraves’ that person, or those memories, onto your brain. You can read all about it here. It gives me the shivers because I met up with my first love recently. He tracked me down on a dating website and we swapped details and went out for dinner. It had been 15 years since we’d seen one another and ringing his doorbell was surreal to say the least. I had a slight panic over the wrinkles I didn’t have years before; I’m sure he was freaking out on the other side of the door about his hair or wondering whether we’d have anything to say to one another.
As it happened, we did. I’d spent my twenties partying and travelling; he’d spent his getting married and having a child with the girl he’d dated after me (and was now divorcing). But those memories of the years we spent together were vivid; he still recalled the pink polka dot bikini I wore over the summer of 1990; I could’ve put money on what he’d order from the menu. We still laughed at the same things and as it turned out, loved all the same movies. We were different people to who we’d been at 16 and 17, but the spark was still there and to ignite it would've been easy. I could almost understand why women clap eyes on their high school sweetheart at a school reunion and promptly leave their husband of 20 years to rekindle the past.
But even diehard romantics have their limits and when the chips are down I’m all for moving forward. My once-an-ex- always-an-ex policy has been a steep learning curve but I’m glad I’ve got it – second-round break-ups generally suck way more than first ones, in my book.
How do you feel about your first love? Still lust after or wonder what he/she is doing? Or do you thank your lucky stars it ended when it did?