Sweet dreams? Hardly...

Lately, I’ve been having a few erotic dreams. Blame it on the release of Ocean's Thirteen, but they usually start with George Clooney kissing my manicured feet and giving me the same come-hither look he gave J-Lo in Out of Sight. Sadly, it's rare the dream heads in the northerly direction I'm hoping for: usually I realise in horror that George has morphed into the stumpy, hairy maths teacher I had in Year 10, and worse, is grinning at me in a decidedly leery and expectant manner.
It's then that the alarm goes off, leaving me wondering why the heck a man with the personality of a statistics text book keeps gate-crashing my nocturnal nookie sessions. But that's erotic dreaming in a nutshell: sometimes delicious, other times distressing, often both.
I decided to do a little research on the subject to see if I could figure out a way to keep George for the duration. By typing ‘wet dreams’ into Google, I found that it’s all about the blokes – no surprises there. By age 45, 80 percent of men have reportedly had at least one such dream (and the rest are probably lying) compared to 40 percent of women. Still, we get in early: studies show 85 percent of women who’ve experienced The Big O in their sleep did so before age 21. Women who have erotic dreams apparently experience them several times a year – and some are so vivid you may even wake up believing you've actually had sex, which I’m sure will be a heartening discovery for anyone who’s currently getting zip in real life. (No comment.)
As for controlling the content of your erotic dreams... well, Google didn’t have much to say on that topic. But I live in hope that one day soon, George will decide to stay the night.

** Your turn... who's in your dreams? Brad Pitt, your boss or your sister's new boyfriend? Is it often your ex or something really left-of-field like a bear riding a bike? Do your erotic dreams ever turn into nightmares? Tell all...