Time’s up

Realistically, can you put a time limit on a relationship? I’ve witnessed this tactic for all kinds of things. A year for him to propose. Six months for him to get a real job and sort himself out. Three months for him to stop smoking dope. Six months for her to kick the coke habit. A month for him to start performing in the boudoir. A year for him to decide he's ready for her to get pregnant. A year to move in together. And so on and so forth. You get the idea.
In some cases, setting a mental time limit on an aspect of your relationship is a positive thing to do. You’re sticking to what you want from your partner and not putting up with what’s not working for the long term. You’re giving yourself an out and shaking up the status quo.
But it’s also a scenario that’s fraught with problems. How on earth can you really put your own time frame on someone else behavior to change? It’s been my experience that people tend to respond better if they’re given a choice in the matter. And if you voice your time frame out loud you’re dropping a huge ultimatum into a relationship which can be the quickest way to make someone feel pressured and trapped.
For many women it can also be very hard to stick to the plan. They arrive at the end of the time period and the diamond ring or the day job hasn’t arrived. Are they really supposed to up and leave an otherwise loving union (especially if they share a house, kids or a canine)? Often it can be tempting to stretch out that time frame for a little longer and by then the whole impact of the time limit is lost.
On the other hand – I have seen it work. Some people do respond to being given a deadline for change. It spurs them into action knowing the person they love the most might be packing their bags if they don’t sort it out.
Tell me – have you ever set the clock on your relationship? Does it ever work?