Who’s making all that racket?

I used to work with a girl who lived in the apartment underneath a woman she called the Mad Rooter. She’d do it against anything, apparently – tables, chairs, walls, the floor; even the balcony got a workout, despite frequent complaints from her neighbours.
Noisy sex: it’s an interesting topic. You’re either into it or you’re not. And if you are, woe betide anyone in the room next door. Spare a thought for the guests at the luxury Kenyan beach resort who heard Brad and Angelina going for it recently. Apparently they were so loud security guards were called and a fellow guest described their passionate racket as, ‘sounding like a wounded animal, or something being killed’.
Hmmm, having your sex sessions described thus is enough to make you lose your mojo, but that's nothing compared to getting publicly sued because you’re too loud in the bedroom. Cindy Crawford’s one-time neighbour Marina French tried it; she reportedly filed a lawsuit against the supermodel complaining that she’d had to endure Cindy’s noisy sex sessions for over two years (they don’t call her husband Randy for nothing).
Such reports are all very well but it does beg the question: how many of those moans, groans, growls and squeals are real, and how many are all part of an Oscar-winning performance? Studies show around 92 percent of women have faked orgasm at least once, so you have to wonder. There are even classes out there teaching people how to ‘release the orgasm charge’, and thus, expand the intensity of one’s orgasm. I'd like to think Sting and Woody Harrelson would be fans of such a class. As tantric sex enthusiasts, they believe making lots of noise during nookie helps the sexual energy flow through the body.
Luckily, their neighbours haven’t complained... yet.

*** What’s your bedroom style? Are you loud and proud, or more of a quiet achiever? And for that matter, aren’t Brad and Angelina too busy for sex with all the roaming-about-the-world-adopting-innocent-orphans thing?