Too hard to believe? Maybe...

I just started sleeping with a new man. He’s older than me. Like, 20 years older (in his 50s). Thing is, he always seems to have a hard-on, even after we've... you know. When I asked about it, he claimed it’s just a medical condition, and changed the subject. I know you’re not a doctor, but I just wondered, would you have any idea of what medical condition it might be? Mandy

You’re right, Mandy, I’m no doctor, but taking a wild stab in the dark (sorry, couldn't resist) I would hazard a guess that your man's medical condition is called VIAGRA. Have fun riding the hobby horse.
Love, reality chick

How do I flick my office fling?

Recently, I had a short-lived fling with an already-attached work colleague. It was fun for a while, but a few months ago I met someone single I really liked and started seeing him seriously. The problem is, my fling from the office is still flirting with me and asking me to meet up with him, even though I’ve made it clear I’ve moved on. What should I do? One’s Enough

Dear One’s Enough. Sure, you had some after hours' fun with a workmate, but that doesn’t mean you promised this guy anything more than that. And seeing as he’s already spoken for, how dare he try to stop you moving on with your new bloke? You’ve made it clear you’re a one-man kind of girl, so he should respect that and move along. You need to be ultra firm here. Don’t meet up with him alone, don’t allow any sort of flirting or touching and, if you really want it to end, tell him you will lodge a formal complaint if he doesn’t cease and desist. Any chance you might be able to get a new job? That might help too!
Love, reality chick

Must I party with his paramours?

Reality chick, help! I broke up with my husband because I thought he was doing the dirty with the receptionist from his work – mobile phone bills showed they’d been messaging A LOT. He denied it all, so now we’re back together. However, he’s now insisting he invite the receptionist and one of his ex girlfriends to a huge birthday bash I am throwing for him AND paying for. I’m not comfortable with this, but he says it’s his party and he can invite whoever he likes. Jen

I’ve met a few dodgy husbands in my time, Jen, but yours sounds like a real piece of work. First, he enjoys a little offshore drilling with his receptionist (I know I haven’t seen the mobile bills but trust me, I’ve got a gut feel on this one). By some miracle, he worms his way back into your life by denying the whole thing. Then, during a time when he really should be kissing your feet, cooking you gourmet meals, unselfishly tending to your sexual needs and apologising profusely for putting you through the agony of a break-up/make-up, he instead demands that he be allowed to whoop it up with both his bit of fluff AND an ex-girlfriend, at a lavish birthday party you’re throwing for him? Funny how you’re not feeling comfortable about your home life these days, Jen. My advice? Give Mr It’s-My-Party-And-I’ll-Invite-Who-I-Want-To a hefty kick where the sun don’t shine and find a sexy divorce lawyer. Stat.
Love, reality chick

PS. Can I have Party Boy’s number? I feel a prank call or ten coming on.

Valentine’s giftage. What do men want?

Yes us girls expect roses, or any flowers for that matter, a nice gift, being taken out for dinner, you name it, but what should us woman be buying our men to show them we love them? Wondering

Good question, Wondering. Because when it comes to V-Day, it's all about what women want. I mean just LOOK at the merchandise. Fluffy white bears, red ribbons, pink roses, mushy cards, boxes of chocolates. There’s not much there for the blokes, is there? Well, that’s where you have to get creative. At the risk of sounding like Bree Vandercamp, cooking is always a way to a man’s heart. Bake a batch of his favourite treats or make him a special dinner. If cooking isn’t your thing, maybe burn him a CD of his fave tunes, buy him a bottle of nice red or a ticket to a concert he’s been eyeing off. And there’s always Rebel Sport or Bunnings vouchers if you get really desperate!
Love, reality chick

Racket or romance?

My boyfriend’s not at all romantic so he shocked the life out of me when he asked what I wanted to do next Wednesday night (being Valentines Day). I said that I have my tennis finals, so could we make it another night? He said no, he said I either go that night or not at all! What do you think I should do? Jo

Sounds like your boy is employing the sneaky but effective If-I-Make-Myself-Look-Good-She-Won’t-Be-Able-to-Rouse-On-Me-for-Not-Doing-Valentine’s-Day tactic. He’s pretending to be up for it, but is secretly stoked the tennis finals have clashed with a day most men consider hell on earth. Gooey cards, fluffy toys, declaring their devotion – it’s right up there with dining at the in-laws’ place and working on a Sunday. Your boy knows you’ll be torn between tennis or him, and probably hopes you’ll opt for tennis, leaving him to enjoy a quiet night on the couch with a six-pack and the latest episode of Border Security. So play tennis. Let him have his couch time. In fact, let him assume he has won the V Day battle, hands down. Until Friday, when you’ll announce nonchalantly that you’re busy – playing wing-girl for your single workmates who are all keen on a post-V Day pick-up pub crawl. More couch time for him, only this time he’ll have the green-eyed monster breathing down his neck as he wonders what mischief you’re up to. After all, everyone knows the wing-girl gets chatted up more than the ones on the pull, right? Ha! Ha!
Love, reality chick