Going with your gut
I once went out with a guy who was nice, thoughtful, mature, funny and even a little bit edgy. He was kinda cute too. So what’s wrong with that? And why aren't you happily planning your life together right now, I hear you ask.Well, I was not sure about him. Not sure in that anxiety-ridden, cancelling dates, maybe-this-is-the-one-and-I-just-don’t-know-it-yet-should-I-just-give-him-one-last-try kind of way. In the end, after three weeks of trying to talk myself into it, it was back to the drawing board, or RSVP or speed dating or whatever works these days. This one wasn't for me. Not by a long shot.
You see, by the third date (hell, even by the first date) I should've known if he was right for me. I should have been doing cartwheels with glee, spending hours getting ready, wondering if he would kiss me and what his lips would taste like. Instead, I really didn't feel like I wanted him to touch me. At all. And I wanted to go home and sort out my sock collection, rather than hang out with him on a Saturday night. Hmmmmm.
In times like these – when the person you’re seeing seems ‘almost right’ or ‘good on paper’ or ‘sorta cute in the right light’ – there’s just one body part that you should trust. (No, not that one – keep it clean people!)
It’s your gut. Mine works every time. The moment I get that heavy / uneasy / guilty feeling smack in the middle of my tummy, I know I’m kidding myself. And as painful as it is to call off a new thing, that’s the only way you can get rid of the queasy feeling. Before you ask, Berocca is no substitute.
Tell me: how do you know it’s not right? Do you really think love and lust can grow over time or is that just settling?












He’s Just Not That Into You was a bestseller that wrecked havoc on the world of dating and mating as we knew it. And now, Greg Behrendt – and this time, his wife Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt – have penned a follow-up called It’s Just A F***ing Date: How to Get ‘Em, How to Read ‘Em, and How to Rock ‘Em. I just know you’re all dying to hear whether it’s a patch on the first book and while smug marrieds’ Greg and Amiira do spout the odd gem or two, the delivery is sleep-inducing at best. Greg, we know you can give funny advice on gut-wrenching Sex and the City-style topics, are you losing your touch? RC Verdict: A handy beer coaster.