What's really going on in Aussie bedrooms?

Ooooh, I do so love sex life surveys, and the toe-curling statistics out this week from speed dating gurus Fast Impressions certainly prove we’re up for just about anything. It’s no real surprise to hear that 63 percent of Aussies have jumped into bed for a night of passion with a complete stranger, but did you know that we’re not adverse to boinking our best mates either? Yes folks, apparently 29 percent of women and 40 percent of men have gone there. What I’d like to know is, how many of them are STILL mates? Hmmmm.
When it comes to crap sex, it seems over half of us are shallow enough to end a relationship because of it, with reportedly 40 percent of men and 49 percent of women saying they wouldn’t bail because of sexual incompatibility. It’s nice to see that some of us still believe sex isn’t everything – and that practise makes perfect. That said, take it from me – if the sex is crap two years in, please stop telling yourself you’ve got your whole life to work it out and that it WILL get better at some point. I heartily believe if you haven’t got it sorted in that time, you ain’t gonna. (Naturally, I have no statistics to back that up, but being wildly opinionated is half the fun of writing your own blog.)
Moving on, it seems oral sex is what 62 percent of women and 78 percent of men crave. However, enjoying it is another thing entirely, with 34 percent of women saying it all depends on who’s doing the deed down there. No word from the blokes though and that’s because I suspect they don’t want to jeopardise the oral sex they do get by being picky about it, which is smart no matter how you spin it.
Our big turn-ons? Oral sex (naturally), followed by public nookie – while humble sex toys bring up the rear. Speaking of rears, apparently 46 percent of men and 60 percent of women have tried anal. A further 22 percent of men and 6 percent of women reportedly want to. As for positions, it’s a no brainer that 32 percent of guys and 33 percent of women love girls on top. Doggy style comes in at a close second and missionary third.
Finishing up today with a topic I will be exploring in greater depth down the track: phone sex. Apparently 61 percent of men and 75 percent of women give good phone. Talk about burning up the airwaves. Ooh, is that my mobile?

Flowers? Yes please!

Statistics say that a man who gives a woman flowers has a 97% greater chance of having sex with her. He also becomes 76% more attractive and 94% more likely to get out of an argument. Okay, so I made all of those figures up. But I’m betting they’re not far from the truth. It’s old fashioned, but there’s no denying a humble posy is a sure-fire way to a woman’s heart. Even a limp bunch of daisies grabbed from a servo will make most women melt. And, if you’re smart enough to send 12 dozen long stemmed red roses to her workplace, you’ve got it made. But, despite their allure, some men stand firm against flower giving. They simply refuse to spend good money on something that will just go mouldy and die in a few days anyway. Others are so clued in, they have roses only on speed dial. That sounds like heaven, but there is some cynicism surrounding flower giving. Some naysayer’s believe that they’re only given when a man feels guilty. When RC received a gorgeous gathering of flowers recently a certain unnamed workmate was heard to comment – “What happened? Did he crash your car?” The flower bestower had done anything of the sort and I refuse to believe flowers are anything but a symbol of purity in a relationship. Are you with me girls?
One last thing, on the subject of floral tributes before I fly off into the galaxy for a weekend of martini drinking and cape swishing.
Have you ever turned the tables on a guy and sent him flowers? I’ve only ever heard of this practice as an urban myth - guy get’s sent flowers at work – never lives the shame and humiliation down. Aren’t we over that kind of sexual discrimination yet? Can’t boys get flowers too? They’re pretty and they smell nice.
Tell me – are flowers over rated? What’s you best flower moment? Still waiting on your bunch?

It's a very hairy issue

Sometimes, you can be single so long you forget about all the amazing things that come with coupledom. Like getting into a cold bed and putting your icy feet on someone warm. Shagging all over the house. Or just basically floating from one day to the next in a blissed out, loved-up, Cheshire-cat-style stupor.
But you know my number one relationship perk? It’s not about sex, or tickles, or even having a human bed-warmer in my life. Call me weird, but the one thing I love about having a gorgeous bloke to hang out with is knowing there’s a good chance I’ll get some regular hair-playing.
Just to clarify for my more porno readers, I’m talking about the hair on my head. As far as I’m concerned, my guy can pull on it, twist it into weird hairstyles, stroke it, tie it in knots, pile it up, brush it, massage my scalp, or use longer bits to tickle my shoulders even, as long as he actually gets his hands on it.
The thing with hair-playing is you can’t really ask someone to do it. Well, you can, but you run the risk of begging and completely turning them off the whole hair playing thing. I’ve learned the hard way, bombarding friends who look like they have nothing better to do while we watch telly than to play with my hair (most have now wised up and just tell me to piss off). No, the best thing about spontaneous hair playing is when the other person decides, of their own volition, to do it, preferably for hours or even days at a time. (I often wonder if hair-playing and orgasms are linked, but no one’s ever played with my hair long enough for me to find out.)
You know, I love my hair being played with so much that I’ve even contemplated paying a professional hair-player to come round on a daily basis. I go to the hairdresser solely because they give good hair (playing). And if I tell a guy about my hair obsession and he a) doesn’t laugh and b) proceeds to play with it on a daily basis, I know I’ve struck boyfriend gold.
Now I’ve let my hair down, what’s the one thing you love about being in a relationship? The weirder, the better. Go to it, folks...

reality chick will be back next week...

Greetings to all my loyal readers, and apologies for my ad-hoc postings of late. I've had to return to my home planet for a family emergency - yes even superheroes have those - but I shall return to earth next week with a full-to-the-brim pickle jar of relationship wisdom. Stay tuned, and try not to kill each other until I get back. love, reality chick

Why have sex? You'd be surprised...

Believe getting jiggy with it is all about procreation or showing love for your partner? Think again. After asking nearly 2000 people why they had sex, researchers from the University of Texas have whittled it down to a choice 237 reasons. (Some people have all the fun jobs.)
But before I wow you with some of the wackiest responses, get this: 20 of the top 25 reasons given for having sex were the same for both sexes - and the study blasted the notion out of the water that men bonk because it feels good and women want sex for love.
Luckily, expressing love and showing affection for a partner made it into the top ten for both sexes. But nothing could knock "I was attracted to the person" off the top of the list. Like, duh.
Featured on the list are blatently honest responses such as, "I was drunk"; religious responses like, "I wanted to get closer to God", and sick-puppy-disturbing answers such as, "I wanted to give someone a sexually transmitted disease". Hmmm.
More reasons we indulge in the humble bonk include:
~ "To get rid of a headache"
~ "To land a promotion"
~ "To celebrate a special occasion"
~ "Someone offered me money to do it"
~ "I felt sorry for the person"
~ "The person was too hot to resist"
~ "I wanted to brag to my friends about my conquests"
~ "To get a favour from someone"
And my personal favourite:
~ "I wanted to punish myself." (Excuse me while I go and laugh my arse off.)

***Your homework this week kids? Click on 'comment' and list some of the nicest, nastiest or downright weirdest reasons you've had sex. Go on, you know you want to...