Tall gal seeking short guy...

I'm a tall woman. Really tall. Tall enough to be a supermodel (though I don't have the wide eyes and cheekbones), and tall enough to be on the Australian women's volleyball team (if only I were coordinated). I've always found it difficult to meet guys who are as tall as or taller than me, so I've given up and now rather fancy short guys. I find I'm not attracted to anyone over about 5 foot 5 (which is even shorter than Rove). But these guys don't want a bar of me - they're much more inclined to look in the petite section of RSVP. I find it so infuriating. How can I convince these little cuties to look past my towering height and give me a chance? HELP! Tall Girl

Towering beauties have entranced some of the world’s cutest short-statured men. Don’t believe me? Take movie mogul Tom Cruise (5'4) and Katie Holmes (5'9); Brit music star Jamie Callum (5'4) and Sophie Dahl (6'0) and French President Nicolas Sarkosy (5'5) and Carla Bruni (5'9). These men don’t mind looking up to their women, but all have something in common – confidence by the bucketload and successful careers of their own. That’s your ticket to finding love with a sexy jockey/rowing coxswain or gymnast. They need to be so self-possessed and secure that they don’t give two hoots about having their gal sling an arm around them for a photo opp - or be better at changing light bulbs, for that matter.

My advice to finding your mini Prince Charming? Start targeting smaller men with a swagger. Don’t hide your height on online dating forums either - advertise your supermodel stature. Where it asks for your vital stats type in: “I have legs that won’t quit, won’t be overlooked at the bar and can always be spotted across a crowded room.” Upload a photo that emphasises your willowyness. After all - tall is super-sexy.
Joerge sure thinks so – he set up a website celebrating the gorgeousness of tall women like Geena Davis, Brooke Shields and Uma Thurman (all 6 footers). Check it out for a total confidence boost at Tallwomen.org. Oh, and while you’re at it, have you heard about the aptly named Alexis Skye? At 6'4, she’s got size 13 feet, can’t slam dunk and once made up a name tag that said ‘Yes, I’m 6'4’ so she could get on with her job at a local diner without the nightly barrage of questions. See – tall ladies are infinitely fascinating. Now, she’s making a packet having fun with her height and making men drool all over the world – shorties included!
Love, reality chick

No passion with my partner...

Dear reality chick, I'd love to hear your opinion. I'm in a long-term, very committed relationship that gives me great companionship and lots of laughs and stability and wonderful friends but I'm afraid it just doesn't fulfil my need for passion and a sense of connection with a 'soulmate'. I find myself looking for this connection with other people and I'm upset with myself for not being totally faithful (in my mind) to my partner. What should I do? Miss Muffet

Hmmm. Chances are you’ve heard the whole ‘passion fades yada yada’ argument a million times so I won’t go there. But if you’re being mentally unfaithful – by, say, letting once-platonic friendships cross the line into emotional affair territory – it may only be a matter of time before you fall headfirst into someone else’s undies (or vice versa). When you’re not totally happy, I think it becomes wildly tempting to dip a toe in the world of What Might Be, but it’s a dirty move no matter which way you spin it.

I think we all expect a lot from our relationships. Way too much if we’re guilty of compulsive rom com watching. After all, very few people have it as good as Hollywood would like us to believe. But while companionship, laughs, stability and a kicking social set would be enough for some people, maybe they’re not enough for you. That's OK, but acknowledging this is one thing - making what might be a radical life change is quite another. The fact that you keep looking for connections with others is a big signal. You’re imagining a life beyond what you have, and that’s not going to change unless you take steps to shift your focus back onto your partner. If things are at all ‘fixable’, I think it’s worth a crack. If that’s not going to work, for whatever reason (ie, you are both indifferent to changing things / can’t imagine bonking after years in separate beds / are staying together for the kids' sake, if you have them), then counselling might be a good move to assess things, including your future. Years without true passion can take its toll on a gal, but don’t chuck an emotional bomb into the heart of your current relationship unless you’re really sure it’s not what you want anymore.
Love, reality chick

How to de-code a date's mixed signals?

I recently had what I thought was a very promising first (RSVP) date with a guy who was attractive, smart and funny. Conversation flowed easily, I thought there was a spark. At the end of the date he told me what a great time he'd had; how we should definitely do it again soon; and to let him know anytime I was free for a drink/movie/dinner etc. He even said 'in the meantime, feel free to email me'. Pretty clear signs he's interested, right? So the next day I send a very brief, friendly email saying it was nice to see him, fully expecting him to reply setting up another date. Instead I get an email saying he didn't think there was any chemistry, so perhaps we can just be friends. Huh? Am I missing something? Catherine

I don’t blame you for being confused, Catherine; he went a tad overboard, considering he was already thinking, ‘this is platonic, nothing more’. The only signs I can glean of that is the fact that he left all the balls in your court – for example, asking YOU to let him know when you were free next, and telling YOU to email him. That shows zero effort on his part. Cowardly, too, because I’m sure he knew if you ever called him on it (as you did, believing he was keen) he could wrap up the mixed signals nicely over email without ever having to confront the situation face to face. I give him one point for his post-date honesty (rare in the online dating realm) but minus five points for mucking you around in the first place.

Re post-date etiquette: there are so many schools of thought on this one. Some believe all bets are off in the dating world. If a guy likes a girl, he’s not going to care two hoots who makes the post-date contact. Others think some men are more traditional and prefer to drive things. I think it comes down to so much more than that: your style (assertive, passive, come-hither, etc), your perception of how the date went and of course, the type of person your date is. Hard to gauge when you’ve only just met someone, but it’s exhausting sticking to a few silly ‘rules’ which may only apply half the time! I reckon do what feels right on a date-by-date basis. If you want to email, and that’s how your ‘courtship’ started, go for it. If they play silly buggers when you thought all went well, you have your answer. Next!
Love, reality chick

Sick of waiting for the proposal

Reality chick, is it ever a good idea to pressure a guy into proposing? Six months ago I had a gorgeous baby boy with my partner. We’ve been together for over 4 years and are very happy. But he seems in no rush to get on bended knee and make an honest woman out of me. What the...? Out of Wedlock

Ahhh, that old chestnut. The reluctant proposee. I know plenty of girls who gave up on subtlety and simply resorted to ultimatums – the ring or the road buddy! And sometimes it does work to put a little pressure on. Dig under the surface of your gal-pals' long-awaited proposals and quite a number of them will have informed their man beforehand it was time for wedding bells to start chiming. Some even go so far as to set a date for the proposal. Writing it on their fridge along with the shopping list and Auntie Jean’s postcard from Venice.

I can see why you’ve held off tightening the screws though. It smarts to have to push and poke a guy for that special question. Sheesh. You’d think after bearing his child and putting up with all his foibles (and every man has them) for years on end, he’d be begging you for happily ever after. But no. The male species can be hesitant (or just downright lazy) when it comes to marriage. In these modern times, who could really blame them for thinking, ‘Hell. I’ve got the girl, the house, the sex on tap and the baby. Why bother with the expensive ring and stuffy party?’ I could go on, and on with this topic. But here’s the thing. I think the time for wishing and hoping, and planning and praying ended the day you squeezed a seven pound baby out of your nether regions.
Sit him down, tell him you want to get hitched and give him 3 months to find a nice way to ask you. If you want an extra sweetener, mention that you don’t need the $15,000 Tiffany ring and you’d be happy with a low key, affordable ceremony. You do want a kick arse honeymoon without the kid however... perhaps to Africa on safari? Then sit back and wait. Hopefully, your boy will be smart enough to think of a sweet, original way to ask you to be his wife. Or even a not so original way. Let’s face it. You deserve it.
Love, reality chick

*** For some lovely (but not always costly) ideas check out the best ever marriage proposals.