I’ve been seeing a guy for five months and have a few questions about Facebook etiquette. First of all, when is the appropriate time to change your relationship status? I feel like such an idiot asking this, but if he hasn’t requested me to be listed as ‘in a relationship’ with him by now do you think it suggests there is something wrong or that he’s not really that into me? Also, in his profile picture he still has about 7-8 photos of himself with his arm around his last girlfriend. What’s the protocol here – should he take them down? Kelly

How I long for the days before Facebook, when we enjoyed fledgling romances without the pressure of having to announce our relationship status to 673-plus ‘friends’ and friends of friends. If you ask me, Facebook has a lot to answer for in terms of stirring up unfounded dating panic. For starters, it has added another layer to the awkward where-do-we-stand conversation, one always best avoided if you’re things seem to be moving in the right direction. But, if you need the verbal validation – and hey, most of us do eventually – I’d wait til six months in, then kick things off with a comment about how you really enjoy hanging out with him. With any luck, he’ll reciprocate the compliment and possibly steer you towards the are-we-boyfriend/girlfriend discussion – but if not, no biggie. Keep having fun together, let it evolve naturally and try not to stress about the Facebook thing: some people are more hesitant about spouting their deepest secrets in the social media realm, and if that’s your guy it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not that into you.
The photos I can sympathise with, but to be honest I think it probably means ZIP that he has old happy snaps of himself and his ex on there. Before Facebook, such momentoes would probably be in a shoe box stashed in his wardrobe along with other bits and bobs he never looks at. You risk coming off as a fruitloop if you ask him to take them down, so just rise above it and hope in time he realises it’s kinda sorta inappropriate having photos of himself with his arm around his ex when he’s actually in love with someone new (YOU!). In the meantime, there’s no harm in chucking a few cute, coupley photos of you guys on your page, and it might just make him think about that Relationship Status pulldown menu sooner rather than later.
Love, reality chick

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