It’s nearly a week til Valentine’s Day, and we’re feeling kinda smoochy. Hence our fantastic new comp: we’re giving away FOUR boxes of roses ON Valentine’s Day thanks to Flowers for Everyone! Valued at $129.50 and presented in a long rose box, the red roses are laid on lush green foliage and are sure to leave your special someone (mum, dad, hubby, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, hamster) with a big fat smile! 

How to enter… Tell us about the most memorable bunch of flowers you’ve ever received (or sent!) in the comments below to go into the draw!

Terms and conditions… As Flowers for Everyone only operates in Sydney and Melbourne, we’ll be drawing winners from those two cities only. We’ll be posting the winners on Friday, February 10 – so get your entries in quick, guys!

Flowers For Everyone is an Australian owned and operated company that has been trading in Sydney & Melbourne for over 20 years. They have 8 stores over Sydney and Melbourne and pride themselves on delivering the freshest, longest lasting, best quality flowers to your door. You can check out the range here.

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I’ve been married to a man for seven years and we have two beautiful kids together. I married him because I felt secure with him and he was a good guy. I wasn’t in love with him, but I did love him. I was very happy with our life together, but my husband kept hurting me in the same way. Every few months he’d go out drinking and not come home for days. It  got old and I began to feel numb to him. We finally split up last May. Now I’ve met this younger guy. I don’t see how we could ever make our relationship work, but when we kiss it’s honestly the most passionate, emotional thing I have ever felt in my life. Is this just chemistry? I think I love him in a way, but here’s the problem. My husband ‘thinks’ he wants to try and work things out. A HUGE part of me wants to, for our children and for our family but the part of me that burns inside can’t let go of this guy who warms me from my inner core. How do I walk away from something that feels so absolutely amazing in every way? How do I ever kiss my husband again and not wish for the kisses of the other guy? It’s tearing me up. Do I be selfless and work on my marriage for my children, or do I be totally selfish and be with this guy who wants to give me the world and a love I have only dreamed of?

Look – I’ll give it to you straight here Clueless. Getting back with your emotionally distant ex-husband (who leaves you cold inside and frequently ‘disappears’ for days on end) is a recipe for disaster. Don’t do it. Not even for ‘the sake of the kids’. It might seems like the selfless right thing to glue your family back together, but in this case, it’s probably better for everyone involved if you and your husband work towards a solid, trusting co-parenting arrangement and get on with your own individual lives. Kids are highly adaptable. And most of the time they would prefer to live with two individually happy parents that a miserable couple.
As for Mr Awesome Kisser – I’m not sure you have a long term future together, but who really cares? After spending seven long years with someone you weren’t in love with, it’s high time you started considering your own needs and desires. You don’t have to plod on in a loveless, disappointing, numb marriage. You do deserve a bit of warming from the inner core and if this younger guy gives that to you – then explore it, see where the spark takes you. You only have one life, it’s probably time you had a lover and a life you dreamed of and gave up trying to be the perfect wife.
Love, reality chick

Got a question for RC or the Manswers team? Drop a line in
the RC Question Box! (Questions may be edited.)

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What’s your dating/relationship history? I’ve been dating over a period of 15 years and have had two serious relationships in that time lasting for 1 year and 2 years. I had been single for 4 years prior to joining eHarmony.

Why eHarmony? Had you tried other dating sites with no luck? I had tried RSVP previously and had met one of my serious relationships off RSVP after about a dozen dates. However, after breaking up with her I returned to RSVP and found that I was meeting a lot of people off RSVP who, for one reason or another, I wasn’t compatible with. All my friends had tried RSVP but I didn’t have any friends who had tried eHarmony. The one thing I really didn’t like about RSVP was buying a package of stamps and having them expire within certain timeframes. This works well for people who are keen to meet a lot of people in a short period of time but isn’t as good for people who want to take their time to get to know their dates. Interestingly, I had come across a website with the research done by the founders of eHarmony many years ago … and I decided to give it a go after seeing that they were advertising in the Australian marketplace and hearing of the success they were having as a leading internet dating site in the U.S. Apparently 5% of all marriages in the U.S. now come off eHarmony.

How did the ad come about? eHarmony approached me with an email to see if I was interested in being on their first locally produced Australian ads. I was first asked to give 3 reasons why I should be on an eHarmony ad in an email. The next step involved them sending me 7 questions which they asked me to answer on a webcam and upload for their review. This was followed by a ‘screen test’ at an advertising agency where I was asked questions for 10 minutes in front of a camera. After this I was chosen for the final 12 to participate in a full production shoot. From this group they would select people to go through post-production and create an eHarmony ad. The full production shoot was a 25 min interview where I wasn’t given the questions in advance or allowed to prepare. There was no script as they were trying to capture real people just being themselves and acting naturally.

Online dating no longer carries the stigma it once did, but still – were you fazed about putting yourself out there so publicly? Now that over 1 million Australians are registered on both RSVP and eHarmony I figured that the internet dating stigma has dissipated. Being part of a multi-million dollar ad campaign for eHarmony was obviously going to be putting myself out there on a another level … [but] the way I looked at it was this. It is a rare opportunity to do a TV ad where they tell people your first name, you write the copy and they make you look good to make them look good. It’s kind of a win-win situation.

Why did you decide to do it? More visibility? For a bit of fun? For the money…? My approach was, if this is what it takes to find ‘the one’, I’ll take the plunge and when I meet her she will love the effort I went to! There was definitely an element of doing something completely different from my day job where I work in a bank doing social media. I actually had to sign-off that I was an eHarmony member (not a paid actor) before the ad went live.

What’s been the reaction from your mates? Have they given you heaps? My good friends all knew that I had been internet dating. The funny thing is that so far, not one person has given me a negative comment! The funniest stories are the ones where people who know me have seen me while watching TV in bed with their partner (and subsequently roll out of bed laughing) or have seen me on a big plasma screen while out in a nightclub.

What’s been the response from women – both online and offline? Has it led to more dates? Online I don’t advertise the fact that I’m on the eHarmony ad so the way eHarmony works, you still get the same number of matches each day based on the 29 dimensions of compatibility. The response from women in the real world has been so much fun – particularly people who are ‘friends of friends’ who you might have only met once or twice! That has led to additional dates and hopefully a few more to come. Prior to doing the ad I met a girl off eHarmony who I had really great chemistry with. I haven’t met The One yet but I do feel I just took one step closer. A few other funny things have happened from it. One girl told me that she was reading my eHarmony profile for the first time on her laptop and the TV ad appeared simultaneously on her TV screen. And when I went to visit eBay’s Australian offices for a work meeting, the girl on reception said, “Can I ask you a really weird question: Are you the guy from the eHarmony ad?”

Are we going to be seeing more of you as the eHarmony guy? eHarmony took the opportunity to do a ‘magazine-style’ photo shoot of me after the TV shoot so maybe one day I’ll see myself advertised on the side of a bus. Who knows!

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My girlfriend and I started having sex about three months ago.We weren’t very experienced and at first neither of us could reach climax. After getting some practice I started making her climax regularly. Then after more practice we both can now easily make each other climax. The sex just keeps getting better and better. But now I’m afraid that it might feel too good! I find myself about to ejaculate right as she motions for me to go hard and fast because she is about to come. I then have to stop and try to perform oral to keep her going and give me a break. I need to find a way to build up some stamina or it’s back to wearing rubbers to reduce the intensity of my sensation thus making me last longer. Any tips?

Hey Tyler. Thanks for writing in. I’ve got some ideas for you.
1. Masturbate before she arrives. It’ll help you slow down when you do get down to it. Ever see There’s Something About Mary? Priceless scene involving Ben Stiller and some … um… hair gel. Or rather, something that looks like hair gel but isn’t.
2. Train your willy. You can do this by stimulating your penis to the point of no return, then stopping the stimulation entirely just before you come. Keep repeating this pattern and eventually you’ll be able to hold off on orgasm for a longer time. (Your girlfriend can help you here, or you might want to practice on your own.)
3. Try different positions. Missionary might be your undoing, if it’s overstimulating you. Try more ‘shallow’ positions like side-on, entering her from behind while you’re both lying down, or seated positions where you face one another. Also, letting her ride ‘em cowgirl and do all the work may also help you to last a bit longer.
4. Have more sex. It sounds like a no-brainer, but really, the more sessions you squeeze into a night, the more likely you’ll be chillaxing and taking your time to come by the last one. One of the best ways to build up stamina.
5. Don’t stress. It’s tricky not to, but really – the more you worry about arriving too early, so to speak, the more it’ll keep happening. If it does, just make a joke. A bit of humour and flattery never goes astray in the bedroom, especially during an awkward moment. ‘Honey, you’re a stone cold fox, what are you doing to me!’ will get you guys giggling about it and eradicate any weirdness.
Hope that helps, and feel free to come back and give us an update. We are terribly nosy and love hearing about whether our advice has, er, hit the spot.
Love, reality chick

Got a question for RC or the Manswers team? Drop a line in
the RC Question Box! (Questions may be edited.)

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Hey guys,

So great to hear! Thanks for the update. You do sound so much happier and more positive, and we’re really glad we could help. The trip sounds pretty damn awesome too – backpacker and all! You go girl.
Love, reality chick

If we’ve given you advice in the past, get in touch to let us know how you’re doing!
Or, if you have a question for reality chick or the Manswers team, visit the RC Question Box.

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I’ve been dating this amazing girl for the last five months. Our sex life is the greatest I’ve ever had. However, I’m having bad self-esteem issues, because during our first month, she told me out of the blue how many guys (and girls) she dates, where she had sex with them and how ‘ok’ it was for her to have casual sex. Now, I’ve had casual sex too, but not as much as she did and every time I did it I felt somehow bad because I’

You’ve both had casual sex, but your amazing girl enjoyed it and felt liberated and you felt guilty and unsatisfied with the lack of connection. Big deal. Different horses for different courses. We’re not all wired up to enjoy sex the same way. If we were … yawn … how dull would that be? And frankly, what’s done is done. It doesn’t really make a lick of difference now, does it? I mean she’s with you and loves you. You love her. For God’s sake, love is VERY hard to find. Don’t mess it up. Who gives a rat’s how many people she’s slept with or chandeliers she’s swung from? It just adds to her skills in the bedroom (the sex with her was the greatest of your life … so it’s a gift that keeps giving, right?).
If it makes you feel better, you’re not the first bloke we’ve had write in struggling to accept his girlfriend’s more experienced sexual history. We’ve answered heaps of questions from insecure guys who can’t stop doing that ridiculous mental tally, picturing their love in compromising pretzel twists with a cast of thousands. Truthfully, insecurity is a relationship killer. It’s also really unsexy. If you want to get Mr Happy to stand to attention again and get back to a place of mind-blowing sex with the girl of your dreams, then you’ve got to LET IT GO. As for the dildo. It’s a prop. The main stage show is YOU. She doesn’t like it more than you. And also – she shouldn’t have lied to you about owning it – but she has every right to use it, whether you’re in the room or not. She’s in control of her lady garden, not you sweetie. While you’re getting over her sexual past, you can get right over her dildo too. There’s hardly a woman alive that doesn’t have a stash of toys in her bedroom. If you want to know what other guy think about dildos, vibrators and such popping their rubber heads up in the bedroom, check out what our Manswers team had to say on the subject.
In short J Man: you’ve got yourself a good one, and you’re letting your head screw things up. If you’re that bothered, check in with a counsellor and get a few sessions about why you can’t get past this. And if you can’t let it be, then perhaps you need to choose your next girlfriend from www.formernuns.com?
Love, reality chick

Got a question for RC or the Manswers team? Drop a line in
the RC Question Box! (Questions may be edited.)

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TEA WITH ARWA
One woman’s story of faith, family and finding a home in Australia
By Arwa El Masri | Out now
~ Review by Dolores Turro

Arwa El Masri’s memoir touches on a tricky topic: how it is possible to embrace a new culture without losing one’s own. It’s also about family connections in different countries, food, friendship …  and her unlikely love story with husband Hazem El Masri, a well-known rugby league player. Her narrative is direct and appeals to the readers’ feelings – and stomachs as well! Expect your mouth to water with the wonderful collection of recipes, both Arabic and Australian, scattered throughout the book.
Through her writing, Arwa comes across as a deeply religious Muslim woman, but she doesn’t pass judgement on those who are not. With enormous grace and simplicity, she explains and demystifies commonly-held beliefs on what it means to be raised Muslim. She also gives a new insight into what it is to be married to a sports star (being labelled a WAG doesn’t sit down very well with her, nor does her any justice). Arwa writes with insight about being a Palestinian with no land to call home, yet touches, too, on her gradual realisation that Australia was slowly getting under her skin (Vegemite, Lamingtons and John Farnham helped, although not necessarily in that order!) . She also chronicles her day-to-day experiences in Australian society and her decision to, as a newlywed at the age of 23, to wear the veil. However, and considering that Arwa is an outspoken Social Science graduate from the University of Western Sydney, I would have welcomed her thoughts on the Cronulla riots as well.

Dolores’ verdict: The first seven chapters are a magnificent read, give us a wonderfully vivid picture of two different cultures and the family photos add an extra layer of interest. All those yummy recipes should have been published together for the readers’ convenience – or perhaps as an unconventional recipe book, photos included! It would have been interesting to read about her experiences in the workplace, too, given that there can be different layers of discrimination. All in all, though, I found Tea with Arwa a must-read memoir on family, culture, food and religious beliefs.

Got a book or product you’d like us to review in our chick pick section?
Drop us a line or post it directly to RC HQ, PO Box 464 Newtown NSW 2042.

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How do you tell your other half they are tight without them thinking badly of you? He is really nice person … but tight as!!! It drives me crazy to split a bill, I’d rather take it in turns, but can you advise me on how to approach the subject?

If there’s one thing that drives me crazy, it’s meanness. It’s a highly unattractive trait in a person, male or female. And nothing works quicker to turn you off a potential lover than when they insist on splitting everything 50/50, would think twice before paying for your icecream along with theirs or would never, ever, slap their credit card on the table ‘just because’ they want to treat you. I’ve known men like this, and they are doing themselves NO favours on the dating scene. On the flip side, I hear from men who feel that the women they date want them, nay, expect them to pay for everything, and the guy insists on splitting everything so he doesn’t feel like he’s been taken for a ride. I know women like this too, who think it’s A-OK for the guy to pay for everything and actually believe, wholeheartedly, that he should. I’m not down with this princess mentality either. I believe in fairness in dating, and if there’s a bit of give and take on who pays for what (you bought the picnic stuff so he brings the wine; you paid for dinner so he gets the movie tickets etc etc), I reckon everything comes out in the wash eventually.
The thing is, people are funny about money. It’s all tied up in so many things – how we’re raised, our parents’ attitudes to it, whether there was too much or not enough when we were growing up, our own financial experiences as adults. It’s probably why most of us would rather hide under the doona than open up a dialogue about a partner’s less-than-awesome attitude in regards to paying for stuff.
In your case, you just want those bill-splitting moments to become, well – less awkward. So don’t confront; just be cool. Offer to pick up the tab and say casually, ‘Hey, this one’s on me. You grab the next one” and if he really is All About Fairness, he’ll make a mental note and he WILL pick up the next one. Then you insist on paying for the one after that, and so on. Steer him away from splitting everything, just say you prefer taking it in turns. If you guys are meant to be, he’ll hopefully come to the party eventually and it’ll become a habit.
For some couples though, they’ll never get to the ‘what’s mine is yours’ free-for-all. There’ll always be a non-sharing mine / yours dynamic, which in my opinion sucks total balls and erodes good feeling in a relationship. But each to their own. Ways around this? A joint credit card you use for eating out, going to gigs or movies or whatever you do as a couple is a great idea. You’re both responsible for paying half off each month, and it sure beats divvying up every single restaurant bill or bar tab.
Love, reality chick

Got a question for RC or the Manswers team? Drop a line in
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1.5 years. We live together and we have a dog and many plans for the future. Everything has been going spectacularly with the exception of the reappearance of a ‘friend’ my boyfriend lost touch with a few years ago. I’ve only met ‘Tom’ a few times, but he’s 36, a trainer, a daily drug user and until recently, was dating two women simultaneously for ten years (and cheating on them frequently). They both, finally, left him recently and Tom is now pursuing two sisters from a wealthy family.

Tom does sound like an immature little shit-stirrer, no question. And I get it. There you are, domestic-blissing with your guy, only to have his druggy, dodgy, opportunistic mate pop up. But here’s where it gets sticky, Vita. He’s your boyfriend’s long-lost pal, they’ve got a history, and although you might not think much of him, your guy clearly values the friendship. He’s entitled to be friends with whoever he wants – as are you. Sure, it bites when our partner’s friends blank us, make no effort, or are simply bad influences, but very few guys will ditch a friend – even an idiotic one – because their partner wants them to. Make it known you want him to, or that you think he’s being taken for a ride financially, or that his friend is trying to break you up, and I’ll bet every last cent of Tom’s monthly drug budget that your boy will dig his heels in and come to Tom’s defense. Which of course he’s doing, right?
What you can do, hard as this might be, is to take a step back. Be civil to Tom in person, but resist the urge to comment on his antics. Leave the room when he phones. Make it clear by your actions that you’re a strong chick who won’t be disrespected or rattled by Tom’s silly bugger behaviour. Don’t feel you have to hang out with him if you don’t want to, or entertain him in your home. Instead, be cool, be fun, establish some boundaries and show your boyfriend that you’re secure in the relationship, regardless of whether his mate is making waves behind your back. Who knows? Their rekindled bromance may burn out just like it did before – because really, it sounds like Tom and your boyfriend just don’t have a heck of a lot in common anymore. Your guy’s loved up, shacked up – and Tom? Well, he’s still on the man child merry-go-round.
Love, reality chick

BB says… For a bloke there is no worse place to be than being forced to choose between his girl and a mate. On one hand he clearly has something special with you but the ‘reappearance’ of a certain old friend may also bring back fond memories of a previous time. Tom certainly sounds like a stirrer of the brown, smelly type but is he actually trying to break you guys up or just unsettle things to see how you and your boyfriend react? Don’t forget, the more time your boyfriend spends with you the less time and attention his mates are going to get, and some mates don’t like that. I think you need to stop trying to make Tom like you and just focus on you and your boyfriend. If you guys are really meant to be together he will make the right choice.

Got a question for RC or the Manswers team? Drop a line in
the RC Question Box! (Questions may be edited.)

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How do I deal with a bisexual girlfriend? In the beginning I thought I would be fine with that, but lately I have been suspicious of every single interaction she makes with a girl and I fear being dumped by someone who can give her something I don’t have (like a vagina, for instance). I know girl on girl action is much different from straight sex, and I don’t know if she is OK having only this last one or if she misses having sex with other chicks. I am too jealous to allow us having a menage, not that she ever mentioned this. Jesus, is it normal to feel my mind this fucked up? Best regards,

Mr Fox (might I say, I love your nom de plume) you are perfectly normal to feel a little unnerved by knowing your girlfriend likes girls and boys. It just opens the playing field that much wider and causes all sorts of insecurities to er, bob, to the surface. Such as – does she like my man sword or would she rather a little minge tonight? Are we both checking out that girl’s bum at the bar? Would she like it if I grew my hair and waxed my legs? Is she going to leave me for Anna, the busty blonde in her accounts department? The tough love RC would give you this advice: Seriously dude – her bisexuality is NO BIG DEAL. She loves you. You’re committed. She’s having sex with you and presumably enjoying it. You should be secure enough in your relationship not to be suspicious that she’s about to cheat on you – with anyone – male or female.  If she wanted a girlfriend, she wouldn’t be going out with you. GET OVER IT. Stop obsessing and worrying about her cheating on you or dumping you. And also – if she hasn’t mentioned a threesome, for God sake, don’t bring it up. That’s more of a male porn fantasy, anyway. The more understanding RC might say – yeah Bob, that’s a tough one. If you can’t handle a bisexual gal, then perhaps you should just get a straight shooter. Take your pick or go with a little from column A and little from column B.
Love, reality chick

Got a question for RC or the Manswers team? Drop a line in
the RC Question Box! (Questions may be edited.)

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