Two years in, still haven’t met his kids…
Nov 13th, 2009 | By reality chick | Category: Relationships
I’m in my 40’s, divorced and met a new guy, also divorced, online two years ago and struck up a love match. I don’t have any kids, but he has three in their 20s from his previous marriage and has remained friends with his ex wife. They gather as a family regularly and even went on an interstate trip together. The problem is, I’ve never been introduced to his kids or his ex. I’ve asked, but he says he doesn’t want to complicate or rush things. Am I nuts to worry that he doesn’t value our relationship and still has feelings for his ex? Mandy
Two years? No meet and greet with the kids? No sweetie, you’re not certifiable, you’re perfectly sane. What is a little loco is your long term partner not wanting to share your fabulousness with his family. Yes, it’s messy; yes it could be awkward, but tough bosoms. He can’t have his triple choc chip brownie and scoff it too. Whether or not he has feelings with his ex is another matter altogether, but if he wants you to stick around and support him, he needs to include you in every part of his life – especially the ones that matter the most to him like his treasured offspring.It’s not like you need to be invited to every family dinner, or go clubbing with his kids, right? But a little recognition – that’s essential. Without it, your relationship will never splutter out of the starting blocks.
Love, reality chick
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2 years is not rushing things . . . although, I can understand that he might want to be sure about where you guys are heading before going down the path of introducing you to his children (be they adults or not).
I don't want to alarm you – but are you sure they are divorced? Maybe they've never got around to finalising it and are still legally married? Hence, his hesitation?
But I'm with RC, you shouldn't be excluded from any parts of his life – triple choc chip cookies indeed.
Hugs
Oh lordy Bubble Girl, I hadn't thought that this relunctant fellow might be living a double life! Yikes…that IS alarming!
I was in the same situation with a guy for 2 years he moved into my home after being together for six months. I never met his 17 year old daughter. This was always a sore subject and ultimately cauused us to break up. I got tired of asking and never being included in Sunday baseball games dinners during the wekk nothing. I always felt there was something more going on then just his daughter. He would receive text messages and when I asked to see he would tell me its between me and my daughter this raised red flags.